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7 Things I’ve learned Since the Loss of My Child

Child
loss is a loss like no other. For other, it’s impossible to comprehend such a
loss. Parents like to thank God for the
grateful feeling when they see their children are smiling and laughing.  Just like I thought when Nicki was alive; (my 13 years old girl died in a
road accident last) winter. But now she is not here, God, I miss her badly and
we’ll never be together in life again! She has gone forever. I wish if I could
see her spectacular smile again!
7 Things I've learned Since the Loss of My Child


For
any deprived parents who had a close relationship
with his/her child who recently passed away probably can’t see any “good days”
ever in their life. And time won’t be able to heal the wound; at least not this
one. With that said, here are the 7 things I’ve learned since my child has been
passed away.
There
is nothing permanent in life:
No
matter how many distinctions we have created in our life socially, culturally, politically
or even financially; the bitter truth of life is that “in any minute we can be
reduced to nothing”!  Every important
thing those are earned after years of hard works and dedications can be
vanquished. It’s better to get a realization that our life can be changed at
any stage, anywhere and anytime. So it’s important that we should love each
other, enjoy the uncertainty and despite of being our differences, together we should
build a strong bond.


Love
never dies:
I love
my child just like you love yours, but the difference is you can touch yours,
you can see your child’s laughing face every morning when you wake up and mine
is living in the heaven! No matter how much I tried, I can never touch her face
again! But there will never come any day I’ll stop loving her. I’m sure other bereaved
parents do the same. I never passed a moment when I forget her name, love, and smile. My girl’s life was cut irreversibly
short, but my love for her will remain just like when she was alive.


The power of bonds between bereaved
parents:
This
isn’t my personal experience though. Once I thought it’s impossible to
understand other’s sufferings who have lost their beloved one. But when a bereaved
parent meets another bereaved family,
they become kindreds in mere seconds! The powers of each other’s broken heart
create a strong bond, even if they never met before. I have got the same feeling
when I navigate a bereaved parent. No matter how much different our lives are,
in this situation, we were even.

                                                                                     

Only a
bereaved parent can understand the pain of losing children and how much we feel
their absence.
This intense
sorrow is for a lifetime
:
Everything
which has a beginning has an ending. But seems like the sorrow and pain will
never end or “moving on” or “getting over it” might not come into my life again. There is no surprise box to
open and discovering something that might lower the immense heartache. There is
no eraser to remove my pain or glue to fix the broken heart; it’s an unlimited
pain that unfolds minute by minute- I also hope it’ll be as it is throughout
the course of my life.




Moreover, there are no effective
intervention programs that can remove the consequences of this significant stressor.  In addition,
different negative health effects (anxiety,
digestive problems,
heart disease, hair loss problems, and concentration impairment)
are persistent in people with this chronic
stress that might reduce a parent’s lifespan.
The death might be
a definite event that must be taken place at one in every living thing but still, I will grieve and love her until the last moment of my life.
This
is a class that I can never leave:
I wish
I never join in this creepy class from where I can’t be dropped out! This class
is filled with those I love most than
anything else in my life. No matter how much we thought to slip out from it at
once, I would never succeed; I wish God
would become mercy upon me again! Everyday
bereaved parents start movements, change laws, praying, and spearheaded
crusades of tireless activism so that they can jump ship from this class.


If you
ever met any one of them, you’ll be a wonder
to watch their transformation; how they transformed their greatest loss of life
into a legacy.
The missing place
will remain missing forever:
Regardless of anything I do in my life, my empty room will
remain empty forever; my girl will be missing from all my family photographs,
birthday parties, back-country vacation; everywhere. Whether it’s become, 10, 15 or 25 years, every holiday
would become a torture without her. Sometimes I feel like it’s easier to live
without an eye, leg or both; actually anything.


But
how could you leave without taking a breath or flesh of blood in your vain?
Leaving without one of your precious children
is just like that. You’ll feel alone minute after minute, day after day, hour
after hour and year after year.
A
changed and A Better Person Every day:
My
broken heart leads me to see things differently. My life is richer now, full of
love, respect for life from a deeper place. Now I have become more grateful
that each gift comes in my way, I see all are worthy. I find strength in religious faith and every morning I say the rosary
for her. It helps me to keep going.

At
last- being a parent of a loving daughter is the best gift ever I’ve received
and I know even death can’t take away that love from me.